The word “appreciative” carries a psychological depth that is often overlooked in everyday speech. As psychologists, we know that recognition is fundamental to people's well-being and self-esteem, but the very word "appreciative" deserves closer consideration.
What does “appreciative” actually mean?
“Appreciative” describes an attitude or reaction that expresses respect, appreciation, and approval. It is about seeing, appreciating, and validating what we encounter – whether it is a person’s feelings, achievements, or simply their presence. In a therapeutic context, an appreciative approach is often the first step towards healing and change.
The therapeutic power of recognition
When we as psychologists meet clients with a appreciative attitude, something fundamental happens. We signal that their experiences are valid, their feelings justified, and their perspective valuable. This creates the safe space necessary for therapeutic work.
An appreciative approach does not mean that we approve of all actions or thoughts, but that we acknowledges the person behind – their right to feel, think and experience as they do. This is especially important when we work with clients who struggle with shame, self-criticism or the feeling of not being “good enough”.
Recognition versus cognition
In psychological practice, we often see the difference between these two concepts clearly. While realization is about realizing or understanding something intellectually, goes recognition deeper – it involves both the heart and the brain. A client may recognize that their anxiety is irrational, but only when they feel acknowledged in their struggle can the real healing begin.
The foundation of self-esteem
Many of the challenges we see in the clinic – from anxiety and depression to stress and relationship problems – are rooted in a lack of recognition. When people have not experienced sufficient recognition in their lives, it can affect their ability to:
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Regulating emotions in a healthy way
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Building meaningful relationships
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Develop a stable self-esteem
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Navigating challenges with confidence
Practicing recognition in everyday life
As psychologists, we often encourage clients to develop a more appreciative inner voice. This can be practiced through:
Self-compassion: To speak to yourself with the same kindness you would show a good friend. Instead of self-criticism, you can practice acknowledging your own feelings and reactions as human and understandable.
Mindful awareness: Noticing and acknowledging thoughts and feelings without judging them as “right” or “wrong.” This practice helps create space between the experience and the reaction.
Relational recognition: To practice seeing and appreciating other people's perspectives and experiences, even when they differ from our own.
Recognition as learning
Interestingly, research shows that appreciative feedback is far more effective for learning and development than criticism alone. When we acknowledge what is working while addressing what can be improved, we create optimal conditions for growth.
This principle applies both in therapy work and in everyday life. Children who experience recognition for their efforts rather than just their results develop greater resilience and intrinsic motivation.
The way forward
Cultivating an appreciative approach – both to ourselves and others – is a lifelong process. It takes practice, patience and often professional support to change deeply ingrained patterns of self-criticism and judgmental thinking.
If you recognize yourself in the description of lacking recognition – either from yourself or others – remember that it is never too late to begin this journey. Recognition is not just a word, but a way of being in the world that can transform both your inner life and your relationships.
At Bemerk, we understand the power of recognition, and we are here to support you on your path to greater self-acceptance and well-being. Because everyone deserves to be seen, heard, and recognized for who they are.